sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
