He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
