what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
