i permit you to call me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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