i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
