Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
