my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Randomize
