i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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