great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dear god my vagina.
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