Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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