I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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