How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
