Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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