if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
