Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I checked into jail on foursquare
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
