If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Drunk is not a location!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
