worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
