Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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