i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
