just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
