Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
