my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
