grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
