Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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