I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
