How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
