only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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