We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
