I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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