ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this will be a night to untag.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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