are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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