After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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