Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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