I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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