who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
