What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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