nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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