Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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