physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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