craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
