i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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