Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
