He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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