i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Life is so much better after having sex.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
