I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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