Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
