my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
