hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
