my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
