HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
