Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
ok first of all what the fuck
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
