Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
